Leaving a Tip – Like a boss.
Smart Cars – Don’t f@rt in them.
Young Photographer – It’s fun.
Satisfaction – She likes her new collar.
Ladies First – Is just nice way to say “Come on, go first, so I can stare at your a$$”
Borrowing – Because it’s only stealing if you get caught.
Hey Charlie – I see what you saw there.
Perception – You don’t need to be the biggest fish in the ocean – just the smartest.
Redneck Engineering – Where would we be without it?
Thwarted – By a piece of cheap plastic. Am I really from the same species as Einstein, Tesla and Newton?
Massage for Mother In Law – The keys from basement are in the vestibule, hanging on a nail…
Come On In! – I always have time for Jehovah’s Witnesses. Here, have a seat. Why don’t you start at the very beginning?
The Player’s Edge
The Saddest Part About This – Is that my generation will not get it…
Your Attitude – Not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.
Giving Opinions – Is like a bad habit, you know you shouldn’t but you just really want to.
Remnant – I don’t think about you any more, I don’t think about you any less.
Opportunist – The one who drinks, while the optimist, the pessimist and the realist are arguing.
Writer’s Block – It’s this or spider solitaire.
Consumerism – We buy stuff we don’t need, with money that we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.
That Gandhi – What a smartypants!
Gambling – A smart man thinks he can beat the odds. A dumb man knows he can.
MARKETING – Problem is the consequence of our perfect solution.
Expression – Because your a genius. F*** everyone else.
Opportunity – When it knocks…
Ownage – Is to use your enemy’s tactics in his own destruction.