Two Faced – I smile when I’m happy. I smile more when I’m sad.
Determination – Fooling others takes years of practice. Fooling yourself only takes seconds of doubt.
Deception – Beware anyone praising work, they usually have plans for you.
Trust Issues – I’m not saying I have trust issues… …Because you’ll just tell everybody.
Composition – That’s a funny name for boobs.
Hemorrhoids – It’s easier to smile even if you’re hurting inside, than to explain to the world why you’re sad.
Internet – Professional single-arm training, since 1993.
Childhood Fears – It wasn’t that I was afraid of going to sleep, It was that I was afraid of never waking up again.
Though Childhood – So I hear you didn’t have a game-boy as a kid. I always wondered what first world problems looked like.
Smile Of Beauty – It makes people wonder what you’re up to.
The Straight Man – Gets laughs, even wearing a tux.
Bravery – There’s a difference between having a shot and pulling the trigger. One takes courage. The other takes balls.
A Dream – Is a wish your heart makes.
Excuses – Don’t make Excuses. Make things happen. Make changes. Then make history.
Women – Because some thing just seem stupid otherwise.
Bitter Sweet – Getting friend zoned… With Benefits.
Multitasking – It’s not that men can’t do two things at once, It’s just that we like to appreciate things one at a time.
Gone Too Soon – I wish you had been there when I needed you, I wish you had been there when I didn’t, I just
THE HORSE WHISPERER – Whispers
SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL, SPEAK NO EVIL – Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but, unlike charity, it should end there.
MISSED YOUR LATTE TODAY? – These folks didn’t have a house. Get over yourself.
Your Best Friend – Maybe one day you’ll forget him, but he’ll never forget you.
BITTER SWEET – Make your crush laugh…By asking her out.
I’ll Be Back – Actually I wouldn’t be surprised.
LIFE’S A JOURNEY – Shame about the destination.
Racism – Now part of a balanced breakfast.