Attention Everyone - Please stay still I've lost a contact.
Customer Service - May I help you?
Blind Dates - Just say no.
Unbridled Joy - Dance like no one is watching.
Foot-lock - Don't try this at home.
If You Need Me - I'll be in the can.
Time Warp - It's just a jump to the left, and a step to the riiiiiiight.
Oh Crap - It is quite evident at this point that I am totally screwed.
They All Float - Down here.
Sky Diving - No matter how high you jump from, it's always the last half-inch that will
Family - The more we are together, the more sure I am that I am adopted.
They Say I Have Adhd - But I think... Oh, look! A bunny!
Your Childhood - Has just been ruined forever.
I'VE BEEN THERE - The next morning can sometimes be a shocker.
E-HARMONY - 6 Million Couples & Counting
Stop Clubbing, Baby Seals - Once again, punctuation makes all the difference.
DEPRESSED OWL SAYS - WHOOOOOOOOOOO Gives a s**t.
Petting Zoos - You, cheeto fingers one more time.
Fortune - Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first one is Bad.
Depression - There are some things even fish can't fix.