Meditative Meals – mmmmm… feel the cow, be the cow, eat the cow, poop the cow.
Man’s Best Friend – Just not yours.
Lunch Box – Who needs them?
Loving You – It’s so hard when I have to and so easy when I want to.
The Most Precious Possession – That ever comes to a man in this world… Is a woman’s heart.
Appearance – Light travels faster than sound… …Thus some people appear bright until they speak.
Life – You belive this is a game, and you may be right. But if you think you can play it better than me, think
The Weak Quit Smoking – The strong fight cancer.
Masks – She had blue skin and so did he. He kept it hid and so did she. They searched for blue their whole life
I Surrender – Well that was an easy war. Take me away girls – Oops I mean comrade!
I Hate Silence – It just leads me to thinking and thinking leads me to you.
Haughty – The moment you start to believe that you are too graceful to make any more mistakes is the very moment that the universe
I Thought – You said you had gum in your hair, this will be much easier to get out.
Assassin’s Creed – Madden style.
Baseball – Quickly becoming the national pastime of many European nations.
The Only Good Reason – To ride a bull is to meet a nurse.
Companionship – For every woman who gets married, there is a cat somewhere who feels like a failure. Briefly.
Depression – They’re kissing in the street. Ignoring the rain. But all I see are tears.
Save Your Breath – You couldn’t handle me if I came with instructions.
Sweet Innocence – She’s been on more laps than a restaurant napkin.
Working It – One cheeseburger at a time.
Baby Ducks – The only time when duck face can be considered cute.
Humanity – At what point does it stop being greed and starts being need?
Smithsonian Exhibit – Politician skeletons.
Don’t Wait Shy Guy – He who hesitates, masturbates…
Can Someone Help? – My telescope doesn’t seem to be working right.