Sometimes I Meet Someone – And think… 40 million possibilities… and your the result… then worry about the human race…
Stamina – I’m so good in bed, I recently received the medal of on-her.
The Metric System – Did not catch on in the US, unless you count the popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Multi Tasking – Its medicinal… just say’n.
True Strength Lies In Submission – Which permits one to dedicate his life through devotion, to something beyond himself. – Henry Miller –
Beware The Empire Virus – Now a resident of Happy Hills Sanitarium, Eugene was taken away, screaming: “Obi Wan help me! My computer has been
Pwned – When you are owned and powerless to do anything about it. Just deal with it.
Permanence – Is the illusion of every age.
Dude You’re Right – Cats do land on their feet.
Home Sweet Home – Never burn your bridges, you may need to cross them again.
Pranks – Hilarious when they don’t happen to you.
Don’t Scare Me – I poop very easily.
Remember Kids – If someone offers you drugs, say thank you, they are expensive.
There’s No Ugly Women – But lazy women.
Rewards – Evenings are enjoyed best when you don’t die during the day.
Save A Cow – Eat a vegetarian.
Fatherly Advice – My Father once told me “Son if you want people to listen to what you have to say, claim it’s something your
The Holy Bible – “No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.”
Kittens – They wear the skins of their victims!
Facebook – Saving unhappy couples the cost of a private investigator since 2004.
Tree Hugger – A whole new spin on the term. Go get her big guy!
Battle Plan – You flank from the left… I’ll grab the cookies.
Skateboarders Occupy – Wood pushers rise up and dominate.
Honey I’m Home – I was thinking about you all day at work.
That Awkward Moment – When you are digging a hole to hide a body And you find another body.
Santa Delivers – Being naughty can get you more than a lump of coal this year.