Immortality – Every breath you take is one step closer to death. Simply stop breathing.
Knowledge Is Power – The power to make other people feel stupid.
Day One: Olympics 2012 – You are doing it wrong
Touch It Gently – Put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep
Lions – I don’t have to outrun them I just have to outrun you.
Being Green – Easy is not.
Girls And Gaming – They may not know what they’re doing But really, who’s complaining?
Priorities – Make sure you have yours in order.
Parenthood – The best years of your life.
Monkey Love – It might be strange but its life.
Supergirl – Admit it. You’d burn down your own house Just to see those golden locks fly in and save you.
Education – It’s Important.
War For Children – Funny and educational version.
Sixth Sense – Brake!! Bit*h….is….not…..gonna…. brake!
Date Night – “Hey, honey! Great news! We can still go to the Olive Garden! I found us a baby-sitter!”
Diversity – With GM technology, nothing is impossible.
Silence Is Golden – But duct tape is silver.
David Bowie – David Bowies Cat
Microsoft Word – Now in a Politically Correct Format.
Facebook – Where getting rid of a friend is easy to do.
Activists – “Wall Street” I feared them. Then they were my heroes. Then I learned who they are.
The Corporate Ladder – Don’t worry you’ll get promotion soon enough.
The Force – It just doesn’t work in real life.
Abraham Lincoln Riding A Bear – With a machine gun. Your argument is invalid.
Smile – For The Camera
Sticks And Stones – May break my bones, but words will never hurt.