Taking The Plunge – I guess that’s what saying goodbye is like jumping off the edge. The worse part is making the choice to do
Congratulations – You might think that your “victory” over erectile dysfunction is just between you and your wife, but your wife probably has other ideas
Seize The Moment – Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they are
Out Sick – Sorry I can’t come to work today, I have a cold. …case of beer in my fridge.
Movies – I’ve just watched a dvd about greed, evil, the failure of man, and the cruelty caused by a ring …I hate my wedding
Camouflage Planking – It is even more asinine when you cant see it…
Cats Are Interesting – They are kind of like girls. If they come and talk to you, it’s great. But if you try to talk
Cats – Even if they had wings, they’d probably still just lie there.
Duckface – The ugly truth.
Deception – People think that I’m quiet because I’m shy, but really I’ve been silently judging them from afar and determining that they’re all retards.
Gynecologist – A pervert with a medical degree.
Breaking Up – You can destroy the evidence, but you can’t destroy the memories.
Remember – People will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
Commitment – The Chicken was dedicated, but the pig.. The pig was committed.
It Was Not – A joyful day when Sean found out he would now be bottle-fed.
Octoberfest – In Australia it goes under a different name, It’s called a calendar year.
What? You want me to stick that where?
Go Back To The Kitchen! – Yeah! That’s a very wise thing to shout to your wife, isn’t it?
The Beatles – Worst Village People cover band ever.
What Hurts The Most – Is talking to him on the phone like everything is okay. But then, when you hang up, you realize he
Battleshots – Aye aye Captain, full speed ahead.
Protect And Serve – The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
Why – Why is it a human desire to challenge nature. We can never win, only postpone the inevitable.
Like A Girl – On her period…
Happiness – Is a man, a woman, and a bounce castle.
Shoryuken – Never forget it, no matter where, Always useful.