The New Testament

The New Testament – The book of Itsnotfair. Chapters 14-18 Found after 2000 years.

Remember Kids

Remember Kids – A guy in a jet will always beat a guy on a camel.

No One Is Free

No One Is Free – Even the birds are chained to the sky. Bob Dylan

Not A Good Time

Not A Good Time – To waive your right to remain silent, so you can finish singing Enter Sandman.

Life Lesson

Life Lesson – Never let things that you want, make you forget what you have.

Insignificant Small

Insignificant – When you’re feeling small and alone, never forget there are always things lurking out of sight.

Business Traveler

Business Traveler – I wonder if I could pull off pretending to be a chauffeur?

After Divorce

Divorce – You take the car, I’ll take the truck.

Give A Smile

Smiles – Always give a smile to your enemies. It will distract them while you poison their drink.

Not All Scars Show

Not All Scars Show – Not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can’t see, the pain someone feels.

My Dear

My Dear – I have something to confess, I’m married. Pffft… You scared me… I thought the BMW wasn’t yours.

Sometimes The Pain

Sometimes – The pain of letting something precious to you go is less than the pain of holding onto it.

Criticism Is Legal

Criticism – Because beating people until they can’t open their stupid mouth anymore is illegal.

Dreams About Being Skinny

Unfortunately – My daydreams about being skinny are always interrupted by the sound of my own chewing.

When I Laugh

Sometimes – I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg.

Red October

Red October – Honey, is it that time of the month again?

In Hell

In Hell – No one can hear you dream.

Proof Of Moon Landing

Proof Of Moon Landing – Finally, quantitative proof that we landed on the moon.

Midget Kiss

Midget Kiss – Same outfits, same songs, same style, Just half the price!