Separate Vacations – It’s nice to get away from the wife once a year, specially if I’ll be spending two weeks on a twiddy beach
If Love Is Like Wine – Then marriage should be the hangover from the next morning?…
Demons – Not pretty, skinny, good, smart, talented and popular enough. That’s what’s on my mind all day… every day.
Dumb People Quiz – Don’t press the red button. Ready set.. go!
Emo Hypocrisy – How can you be sad and have bo**s too?
Admit It – You were thinking about bo.
Dear God – I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way …through the driver’s door.
Dear Rich Bastard – Unless you have a bookshelf that leads to a hidden passage when you pull a hidden lever. Consider your money spent
Please – Can we keep it?
She Is Famous – For two things…
If You Own A Super Car – Make sure you can drive.
Save The Cheerleader – Save the world.
How Do I Like My Steak? Next to my other steak!
Don’t and Stop – Two words a man hates to hear unless you’re saying them together.
Amish RV – Rumspringa break Daytona, here we come!
Awards – Because… Your high school guidance counselor said you wouldn’t amount to anything.
Reckless Driving – Police Call It Reckless Driving I Call It Skills.
Monkey’s – They will always suggest bad ideas.
A Man – Can not cook to save his life, But he can sure as hell improvise for the one who should.
Darwin Awards – The winner is right around the corner.
Blonde Girls – Can read upside down?
This Is What Authority Means.
Friendship – Things I have to put up with.
Cheers – You’re doing it wrong.
Html – Programming for a better life.
Happiness – Is a fresh clean bed with a serious reason to stay in it.