Photoshop – Don’t believe anything you fap to.
Alcohol – Because no matter how hard you try, you’ll always be Harmione.
Deception – Honey, I can get a better shot of your new sandals from up here.
Opportunity – When it knocks…
Determination – Fooling others takes years of practice. Fooling yourself only takes seconds of doubt.
Tonight’s Menu – Homo sapiens a la car.
Experience – All that is left when everything else is gone.
I Deserve – Whatever punishment is coming my way and if it involves restraints and a whip, so be it.
Daddy – He used to play with me, he used to love me. Mommy says that he went to heaven. But I don’t care, I
Napalm – Light a fire for a man, and you’ll keep him warm for a day. Light a man on fire, you’ll keep him warm
Miscommunication – Saying what you want and getting what you want are often two different things.
Truth Or Dare – Pretty darn close.
Bittersweet – Married to a hot woman that has the morals of a man.
Amnesia – I’ve had it once… or maybe twice.
Come Together – Right now or else.
Hunting – Some have lost at the game of attraction, most have found that money always works.
Love Test – 1. Lock dog and girl in a trunk 2. Wait 15 minutes 3. Open the trunk. WHO WILL JUMP FOR JOY?
Perfect Tan – The umbrella was in the way, so I ate it.
Life – It flows so nicely when you take it logically.
Recycling – The solution to your drinking problem.
Sniffer Dogs – Who ever smelt it, dealt it. Doesn’t seem to work with Sniffer Dogs.
Wealth – Accumulating great wealth is not difficult. You buy people for what they’re really worth and then you sell them for what they think
Women – Don’t want to hear what you think, they want to hear what they think in a deeper voice.
No Refunds – No exchanges, either.
Drinking – Take your lips off the faucet and admit you have a problem.
Reward – No matter the highs or the lows, There is a kiss of death to end your sorrows.