Computer Crash – Can’t respond to any email today. Something has crashed on my computer and the mouse is missing.
Keeps Getting Harder – There is a reason why men happen to be natural at gaming and why women only like to play occasionally.
Women – They are meant to be loved, not understood.
Fortune Cookie – Remember to make your fortune more interesting, always add “In Bed” to the end of the fortune…
Love Is Blind – Not entirely money-blind, though.
Backhanded Complements – Yes, I was in a movie. No, I am not, Sarah Jessica Parker.
Fighting Cancer – By spreading heart disease!
THEY HAVE BEEN LOCATED – Marilyn Monroe and Adolf Hitler are alive and hiding out in Portland Oregon
WHY COPYRIGHT IS IMPORTANT – How would you feel if you created something good, then a deceptive person used it for it’s crimes and in
READ TWILIGHT I WILL NOT – Rip my own eyes out much I would rather.
YOU CAN ONLY BE FOUND – if at first you were lost.
WORLD OF WARCRAFT – The girls thet do play it don’t really look like this.
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE CLOUDS – When they disappear, It’s suddenly a much brighter day.
STRIVE FOR MORE EDUCATION. – Enough with sit and roll over. Now teach me to kill.
COURAGEOUS – Was the first person to look at this bug and think “I bet that’s Yummy”
MANLINESS – As If wearing the kilt wasn’t manly enough, let’s toss a 20 foot tall tree.
Keep An Open Mind – But not so open that your brain falls out…
Curiosity Killed The Cat – Good boy curiosity…. Good boy!!!
DRUGS – Without Question The End Is Terrible But the Ride Sure Is Great.
TOILET PAPER – The packaging says 100% recycled. Maybe we should take a moment to seriously contemplate this.
EPIC MATH FAILS OF HISTORY – OK well at least I’m smarter than that 5th grader.
PERFECTION – I’m giving it up for Lent.
CENSORSHIP – It might protect you from what I express, but certainly not from what I think.
MIRRORS – Even if you don’t like what they show you, don’t forget that they can’t reflect your soul.
LOVELY PHOTO – But all I can think is “If I saw that, I would fill my pants.”
BACKUP – Even when you feel alone, just know someone is covering your six …