The Internet – It doesn’t make people smarter. It just spreads stupidity faster.
Women – Do you know that awesome moment when you finally understand women? Yeah, me neither.
Tongue Skills – Yours might not get you into college, but they sure will get you through it.
Catholic Condoms – In case the picture of Jesus on the nightstand doesn’t break the deal.
A Faithful Friend – Is Always Better Any Treasure of the World … … So Never Let Go Of Them.
Parallel Parking – Women will never get it right if men keep telling them this is 10 inches.
There’s A Saying – Silence is golden, there should be a pill for that.
Good Sermon – Should be like a woman’s skirt; Short enough to rouse interest… Long enough to cover the essentials.
Merry Go Around – All that shines turns to rust, All that stands in time turns to dust.
It’s Not True – I had nothing on… I had the radio on.
Marriage – Sometimes is love and sometimes is just like being stuck together in a narrow space.
Anger – I’m fed up with my own life, but I keep looking for someone else to blame.
Not A Tease – I’m just a reminder of what you can’t have!
Greet The Fleet – Spring break in dress whites.
I Recently Learned – That the poor people would like some healthcare. Why on earth would poor people want to live longer?
Reverse Biking – Like regular biking, except the bike rides your a**
Sky Diving – No matter how high you jump from, it’s always the last half-inch that will hurt the most.
Toilet Bowling – Much more fun than the regular one.
That Gandhi – What a smartypants!
Online Dating – Distance is to love like wind is to fire… It extinguishes the small and kindles the great!
Just A Stone In The Road – You tread over me as you move on with your life.
Year 2012 – I don’t subscribe to the belief that the world will end. I can still hope though.
The Red Rose – He who dares not grasp the thorns, Cannot desire the rose…
Beer Fountain – Skill level: German
Oblivious – When all our selfish desires blind us to the world and everyone in it, Love is in fact, truly blinding.
Felony Stupid – America’s most wanted, worst addicted serial tattoo moron.