It Was At That Moment – When I woke up and realized I had a serious drinking problem.
Pork Chops – They are like meat curtains on a fat chick.
Shove It, Bloomberg – I’m Still Drinking Them.
Alien Abduction – For when, “I got hammered on moonshine and passed out,” just isn’t a good-enough excuse.
On Second Thought – …I’ll just let it fall out, thank you.
Most People See This And Think – “oh look at the lovely wild life” when i see this coming my way i think “there’s a
Happiness – Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.
McDonald’s Coupons – That moment when you realize just how poor you really are.
Those Who Hoot – With the owls by night should not fly with the eagles by day.
WOW – Mommy’s going to be so proud!
Life Is – A dream for the wise. A dream for the fool. A dream for the rich. A tragedy for the poor.
Go Get The Banana – It’s up on the counter, no, there’s nothing in my hand, listen to me, go inside, it’s up on the,
Weapons Are Like Money – No one knows the meaning of Enough.
Here’s A Condom – I figured since your acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one.
Massage for Mother In Law – The keys from basement are in the vestibule, hanging on a nail…
Grades Don’t Make The Graduate – Sometimes achieving a DD is far more impressive then any single A+.
Involuntary Bowel Movement – From zero to holy S#$@! in 2 seconds.
Patience – Rewards come only at the end.
Animals – If we’re not supposed to eat them, Why are they made out of food?
Simple Pleasures – This better than riches to scratch where it itches with no regard as to whom may see.
Come On In! – I always have time for Jehovah’s Witnesses. Here, have a seat. Why don’t you start at the very beginning?
Sponsorship – When it gets to something like this you know it is bad.
Mission – When the cause is more important than anything else.
Child Support? – You mean I have to PAY?
Loneliness – I stand alone in this barren land, my days now arid and bland. On the inside I’m dead, I only see nightfall ahead.
Love Is Called The Game – Where a couple of blind person play at hurting each other.