Life Is Like Poker – If you don’t have a big enough stack… No one really notices when you are all in.
I’m So Broke – I have to fart in the d*mn thing just to have a…cent.
Vacations – Taking time off to recharge your batteries, keeps your stress levels lower.
Peace – Guns are needed to enforce it.
Foolishness – Still want to take that smoke break?
Internet Dating Tip #2 – Even though you are only seeing stars, sometimes there is a lot of sh*t behind a cute smile, that, my
The Saddest Part About This – Is that my generation will not get it…
Facebook Barbie – Looks are deceiving, she is still using that photo of her from ten years ago.
A Mouse In A Mouse – So that’s how they do it!
Reality Has Encountered A Problem – Send error report?
Stocking Filler – Greybeard Kringle finally left something under the tree that I actually wished for!
Memorial – A person is only as good as the impression they leave on people.
Reaction To Toilet Tissue Core Thefts – That should stop the pilferage.
In Peace – Sons bury their fathers, In war, fathers bury their sons.
Hot Gamer Girls – Yes we do exist. So make your own d*mn sammich boys. I’m busy pwning noobs and getting free stuff from flirting.
Kilt – Honey, there’s nothing “sissy” about these men…
Hang In There – It’s going to be OK Buddy. She was a b***h anyway.
It’s Just Not Fair – She yells at me for sucking my thumb.
Dear Santa – I have been good all year, Ok, most of the year, well once in awhile, the hell with it, I’ll buy my own
Love – An evil trick played by nature to get us to breed.
Energy Concerns – Means Santa will be leaving Nickelback cd’s for the naughty list this year.
White Knights – This is how I think women see me on the internet.
Never Fly – The “A” model of anything.
Precision – Some people just never were very good at coloring within the lines.
Cold – I give you everything, in hopes you will love me once more. You take from me everything, not realizing the damage you do.
Wisdom – It’s not measured by your choice of car but by whether the car fits in your garage.