Massage for Mother In Law – The keys from basement are in the vestibule, hanging on a nail…
Grades Don’t Make The Graduate – Sometimes achieving a DD is far more impressive then any single A+.
Involuntary Bowel Movement – From zero to holy S#$@! in 2 seconds.
Patience – Rewards come only at the end.
Animals – If we’re not supposed to eat them, Why are they made out of food?
Simple Pleasures – This better than riches to scratch where it itches with no regard as to whom may see.
Come On In! – I always have time for Jehovah’s Witnesses. Here, have a seat. Why don’t you start at the very beginning?
Sponsorship – When it gets to something like this you know it is bad.
Mission – When the cause is more important than anything else.
Child Support? – You mean I have to PAY?
Loneliness – I stand alone in this barren land, my days now arid and bland. On the inside I’m dead, I only see nightfall ahead.
Love Is Called The Game – Where a couple of blind person play at hurting each other.
Look At Me – There is science, logic and reason, there is thought verified by experience and then there is parenting.
Living – Consists of 90% luck and 10% skill, But I still wouldn’t attempt it without the 10%…
Live Tech Support – Someone will be with you in…never.
I Am Obviously Not Learning From My Mistakes – I keep going to work.
Adulthood – Has It’s Disadvantages.
Wal-Mart… Always The Low-Price Leader – Wal-Mart… destroying America one small business at a time.
The Player’s Edge
Thanks Dad – For never actually turning the car around and giving us something to really cry about.
More To Life Than Technology – Have you plugged in today?
My Sole Purpose – In this life time is to be a bad example…
The Original Computer – Was very limited functionally, print and delete.
Creepy – Satan loves me, this I know For the voices tell me so!
Denial – Whatever it is … I DIDN’T DO IT!
Yo Mama – . . . is so fat, when she sings, its over.