Having No Life – Is better than a life without video games.
Single – It’s better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.
Blackout Drunk – Good morning sweetheart, I baked you a cupcake.
Good Dog Gone Bad – It all began when he started running around with those wild neighbors.
Follow Me On Twitter – Then wonder why you bothered.
Good Friends – Don’t let you do stupid things alone.
Only The Dead Have Seen The End Of War – Plato
Sloth Is A Deadly Sin – So this poor little guy’s going straight to hell?
Dementia – When I was a little boy my grandfather asked me how old I was. I told him I was five, and he said
Light Travels Faster Than Sounds – That’s why someone appears bright until you hear them speak…
What’s In Your Wallet? – And It’s On The Day I Get My Pension, Oh Well They Said It Wasn’t Going To Be, A Rose
Questions – We all ask: Who am I? Why am I here? Is there a higher purpose? I’m not impatient, but… Shouldn’t I have some
Life’s A Gamble – I felt insulted the other day when my girlfriends said that I never listened to anything she had to say. To
Joy – I don’t want to live forever, just long enough to know that I’ve lived once.
Bigger – Is not always better. Although it is usually a great deal more impressive.
Payday – Parties. Clubs. Cinema. Alcohol. I’ve got money to burn. Oh snap! Forgot my bills again.
I Am The Law! – But I’m also a husband. A son. A loving father. A human being. So be nice or I’ll taser you
We Don’t Stop Playing – Because we grow old, We grow old because we stop playing. George Bernard Shaw.
Occupy – They want to stay in city parks, oh hell why not!
Opera – It’s not for people anymore.
Occupy – Global warming protesters.
The Draft – White people sending black people to fight yellow people to protect the country they stole from red people.
Sinkholes – Hey, just think. This could happen to your house tonight. Sweet dreams, everyone.
Hopes And Dreams – Girl: One day I’m going to marry him! Boy: Mmm bacon.
New Generations – They ran out of ideas
Nothing Is Ever So Bad – That it can’t get worse.