Two Choices – We always have 2 when Chuck calls…
Those Who Stand For Nothing – Fall for anything.
Misery – Sitting with her through all four movies then learning there will be a fifth.
Who Loves Me – Loves me as I am. But it’s always someone that I don’t love…
Happy Father’s Day – To all those men who don’t know that they are fathers… Happy father’s day. Next time-wear a condom.
The First Five Days – After the weekend are the hardest…
Alcohol Is Poison – I drink it because there are things inside me I have to kill …
Living Life – Life each day is like taking a ride on a roller coaster. It’s too brief, too expensive and at the end of
The Penguin – She will not take your filthy stolen money.
The Boxer Mafia – From now on every slipper, every ball, every biscuit, every butt sniff.. the Don gets a taste, kapeesh? Welcome to the
My Friend Said His Day Couldn’t Get Any Worse – So I prove him wrong.
Wishes Can Come True – If you close your eyes strong enough and desire it with all your heart. Please turn into a fly, please
Alternatives – If you can’t afford a vacation, you can always drink until you don’t know where you are.
Jack Daniels – A weapon of mass destruction since 1846.
Variety – It’s the spice of life… and death.
Veterans – You don’t know you’ll be one until after surviving the war.
Perseverance – Life is oddly rewarding. No matter how small and ineffectual you are, there is always someone smaller you can bite the head off
Torment – I fear you, I fear me, I fear my dreams, I fear my death, But what I fear most is my fear.
Friendship – Is as delicate as a glass; once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks.
Good News – Bad News – Unless you’re in prison.
Revenge – Wait for it. Waaaaaaait for it…
Time Takes It All – Whether you want it or not.
Fact: Life Must Consume Life… To Sustain Life… – And to all my vegetarian friends… I’d like to point out… my dinner… pooped on your
Heartbreak – It waits around the corner for all who elect to arrive It doesn’t cost much either just satisfaction and time.
Peaceful Assembly – Yes, you can haz pepper spray!
Too Much Horsepower? – No Such Thing.