Pain Is Natures Way Of Saying Don’t Do It – Painkillers are man’s way of saying just watch me.
Al Capone – You can get more what you want with a kind word and gun, than you can with just a kind word.
Sometimes – I just want to disappear and see if anyone would miss me.
Rumors? Impressive b#@ch. At least your spreading something other than your legs.
Smart Car – Stupid driver.
In Hiding – Seeing a spider isn’t a problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
Women – Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
Sign Power – That liberal arts degree finally came in handy.
Size It May Not Matter – But in the end, the longest reaches more bushes…
Real Life – Beat up Barbie….I think we went to far this time.
50 Shades Of Play – Don’t hurt me! I’m too innocent for literary reinactments.
Bad Crashes – The only reason red-necks watch TV.
Go In Quickly – Punch hard get out.
Cheese – Just make sure to get my good side mom!
Opportunity Knocks Once – But temptation, that NQDCP5VDFMKM leans on the doorbell.
Curiosity Killed The Cat – But satisfaction brought it back.
Dun Look At Me Like That – It be cold…so I goes and finds warmth.
Grey Beards – There is nothing on earth that can avoid that creepy stare.
There Is An Easier Way – To turn that doorknob… And much less messy.
Waiting – It’s the hardest thing.
Stereotypes – Only offensive if they are untrue.
Why Are We Here? – Gravity is a force much easier to understand when we finally realize we are nothing but fertilizer.
Crowd Surfing – Burns almost as many calories as channel surfing!
Balance – The word “Happiness” would lose all its meaning If it was not balanced by the word “Sadness”
Witch’s Know Their Place – Why don’t women.
The Short Bus – Cause i sure hope that’s not their long one.