Wearing The Pants – I do what i want, how i want and when i want to do it. As long as i ask my
Diet Water -Now with fewer calories!
You Know You’re A Redneck – When you wear a pair of underpants as a tank top.
Halloween – Loving the things that go “bump” in the night.
Freedom – It isn’t free.
Teleportation – The possibilities are endless! (just for your cat).
Drinking Problem – Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
Husband Daycare – Seems Legit.
Insanity – “I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!”
Duality – Peaceful till pissed.
Surrender – At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place,was as honorable as resistance,especially if one had no choice.
Dear Santa – I better get what I want for xmas this year, or prancer and dancer are next. Make it F@#$!^% happen!
Neighbor Annoying You? – How to get them to stop for good.
Discipline – Parents who are afraid to put their foot down usually have children who step on their toes.
Don’t Worry – About what people think. It doesn’t happen very often.
Fight For Your Dreams – For it’s possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.
Everybody Is A Genius – But if we were to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its
Free Calculator – Because putting on socks used to mean that I couldn’t count to 20 anymore.
Oktoberfest – Has three of my favorite things in life …
I Have The Feeling – My Grandmother doesn’t like my new girlfriend.
Old People At Weddings – They keep poking me and saying, “You’re next”, so at funerals I do it to them.
Facing The World – The reason I sleep so long in the morning isn’t because I’m tired ans need to sleep, It’s because I have
Fear – Makes the wolf bigger than he is.
Math – If there’s one thing it’s tought me it’s that if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and flies like a
Revenge – Nah, I’m to lazy. I’m gonna sit here and let karma f**k you up.
Occupy Movement – Crowd dispersal method #1.