Labor – If all wealth is gained from it, why is it that most of the wealthy never have to do it?
Procrastination – The art of keeping up with yesterday.
No Matter What You Drive – Your last car will always be a Van.
Drink Your Beer Boy – There’s sober children in Somalia …
Spacesuit – Never sneeze in them.
Group Therapy – Fun for everyone.
I Would Like Gangsta Rap More. If it wasn’t all about killing people like me.
Man’s Best Friends – A Good Dog and a Good 1911.
Nerd Heaven – You had me at halo.
Shoryuken – He was the first to use it.
Sorry Paris – But the dog is my b**ch now!
Inferiority Complex – No one can make you feel inferior without your consent… You pathetic submissive losers
New Reality Show – How I Really Met Your Mother.
Some People – Need a high five … in the face … with a chair.
If Guns Kill People – Do pencils misspell words?
Body Building Conundrum – So, what do you think, a chick on steroids or a drag queen.
The Eternal Dilemma – Too tired to stay up, yet too awake to fall asleep.
Natural Selection – The reason why women’s buttocks are of a greater size than men’s is that the anvil must always be bigger than the
Men – They just don’t take”Restraining Order” for an answer.
Gravity Never Loses – The best you can hope for is a draw.
Chance – You have a better chance of dying on the way to buying a lottery ticket, than you have of winning.
Blessed – One of these women has been blessed with natural beauty and talent. The other one is wearing black.
Famous Quotes – A true friend will stab you in the front – Oscar Wilde
Spare The Rod Spoil The Child – Now Billy might be getting more rod than he bargained for.
It’s True – Women live longer then men… Especially widows.
You Have Now Seen – Frank Sinatra leaving a helicopter with cocktail in hand, this may be a good time for you to purchase a