Governments – They care about your sanity.
Life Boils Down To Four Bottles – I’m already in the third one.
Men Have Nipples Because – As an embryo, everyone is a female, until the Y chromosome kicks in.
8 GB Memory Card – 1996 vs. Today
First People In The US? – Last to get their rights.
Bachelorette Party – Brought to you by Jaegermeister.
Feminism – strong smart and independent until things get a bit difficult.
Fake – Hair, nails, tan, eyelashes, hooters… and they wonder why they can’t find Real men.
First Class – Are you really worried about baggage fees?
Place Of Zen – I spent three hours at the wife’s grave this afternoon… Bless her, she thinks I’m digging a pond.
Origins – A rose is beautiful no matter who plants it, yet can he who plants a rose be so ugly himself?
Outcast – I’m not afraid of death, but I am afraid of dying. Pain can be alleviated by morphine but the pain of social ostracism
Paradox – In our life what we were searching for in the end we realize was always there but we never took the time to
Respect – There are many who are demanding it, but only few who are offering it… There are only some who deserve it, but many
Sweet – I travel the land asking rides from kind strangers I’m a hitch-haiku.
Gotta Be Cool Now – Power shift here we go.
Crusader – Fighting for a God so great he needs me to enforce his will.
Good Old Fashioned Values – That’s right honey, dreams, goals and education are Satan’s way of distracting you from being a good wife.
Can’t Afford Health Insurance – Go to the airport, you’ll get a free x-ray, bre*** exam and if you mention Al Qaeda you will get
Everyone Notices – “Beauty”
Cow Tipping – They’ve had enough. Now it’s their turn.
An Irishman Walks Out Of A Bar – Hey, it could happen…
United We Stand – We have no choice.
She Left – Don’t Worry. There’s lots of fish in the sea.
Things That Amaze Me – If you say “gullible” slowly, it sounds like you are saying “oranges”
Evolution – Our supposed ancestors keep on providing compelling proof….