Money Can’t Buy Happiness – Ha ha ha .. I knew I couldn’t say that and keep a straight face.
Perfect Parenting – You failed.
Yo Mama So Big – She’s costing millions of dollars in property damage.
My Pants – I will not put on the ground.
Olympics – They won on the lift and snatch.
The Olympics – Because everybody likes to watch.
Men Test – If you noticed Smash Bros first, you get the idea…
Good Parenting – Means paying attention to all of your children!
World Of Warcraft – Two level 85 wizards and a n00b.
What A Beautiful Girls, What Are Your Names? – Mine is “Good bye” and hers is “Get lost”.
Character Motivations – Why your character braves all those dangers. Make it count.
Overkill – Definition: Whatever I drive OVER, I will KILL.
Man Is Not A Dog – He doesn’t like sleeping on bones.
Friendship With Your Ex Is Awkward – You sit together pretending you have never slept together.
Toilets – Someones’ gotta clean ’em.
Voting – Is deciding which criminal gets to steal everything you have.
Just Had An Argument – With my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up. I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock’s broken
Midnight Snacks – If we aren’t supposed to have a midnight snack then why is there a light in the fridge?
Women – They don’t think we can do even the simplest of tasks. Yet they trust us to be able to read their mind.
Where Are Your Happy Trees Now – Where are they?!?!
Memories – Don’t dwell on your past mistakes. There’s no sense in both of you doing it.
Hydrogen Bond – Attractive interaction of a hydrogen atom with an electronegative atom.
Courage – To brave enough to stand up for what you believe… whatever that might be.
3500watt Generator – For sale!
Optical Illusions – A visually perceived image that is deceptive or misleading.
Idiot – You win.