WHEN YOU SAID – ‘BLOW ME’ This ain’t quite what I had in mind officer.
IF YOUR MAILBOX LOOKS LIKE THIS – You might be a redneck.
I’M NOT SURE – What kind of swallow is that?
BACK TO THE CENTER – There are no shortcuts.
HONEY – The Best Tasting Vomit on the Planet.
I DON’T ALWAYS WORKOUT – But when I do, it’s in black, so it is like a funeral for my fat …
LIFE LESSON – Pay attention to details or get burned!
HEY HONEY – I think the cat is in heat again …
C H I L D R E N – You spend the first year of their lives telling them to stand up and talk and
WHAT IS SHE AFRAID OF – Not a d*mn thing !
F18 HORNET REPAIRS – Mechanics
SUMMER IN TEXAS – But it’s a DRY heat.
AMBIGUITY – There are those times when more specific instructions are helpful …
SCIENTIFIC FACT – If you took the veins of your body and laid them end to end, you would die.
FAITH… – Sometimes its just not enough.
IT WAS THAT GUY – He let the dogs out !
FRIENDS FOR EVER ! – No Question’s.
LIFE IS LIKE JALAPENOS – What you do today may burn your a*s tomorrow …
I’ll Be Back – Actually I wouldn’t be surprised.
NEVER TRUST ANYONE – With a Bible in one hand and a gun in the other.
SHE’S TOO TIRED – Move the bed to the kitchen… You’re Welcome
Ninja Kitten – Striking fear into the hearts of children.
One Size – It does NOT fit all!
Softball – It’s important to stretch before playing.
CATCH 22 – To get a job you need experience, To get experience you need a job.
BREAKING NEWS – Authorities have learned the identity of the last person with Whitney Houston the night of her death.