SOME DAYS… – It doesn’t pay to get out of bed !
WHY DOES WINTER SUCK SO MUCH? – Then again, with the Curse of a Permanent Double Facepalm, Everything in the World kinda sucks for me.
Irish Yoga – Practiced World-Wide.
RETIREMENT – How are you planning for yours ?
GOOD PARENTING – The secret is to get your priorities in order.
SOCIAL ACTIVISTS – If you postin’ ’bout Kony I feel bad for you son, he snatched 99 kids and your status saved none.
INGENUITY – Making things more interesting every step of the way.
I GAVE HER MY HEART – Now I have nothing.
News Flash – Salt water destroys Ninja cloaking powers.
An Argument – Between these two, would be priceless.
THE KEEPER – Mess her head up before you mess her bed up and she will never be fed up.
DEPRESSION – I wanted to be a Kodiak Bear Ten feet tall… a half ton of savage splendor…. Not something that looks like a Beanie
INSIGNIFICANCE – You are only one person of 6.5 billion on one planet out of 8 circling one star out of billions in one galaxy
BB KING – Hitting one of THOSE notes.
TELLING HER TO MAKE YOU A SANDWICH Make sure you can take her first…
IRONIC NAMES – Kinda like bald guys named curly or fat guys called tiny.
PAYOFFS – Sometimes it the best thing to do before humiliation.
OPTIMISM-Belief that everything will be alright when everything is already ok
NUCKING FUTS HIGHWAY – A better driving experience, brought to you by pharmaceuticals.
BITTER SWEET – Make your crush laugh…By asking her out.
I THINK I ? – Could Of Found A Better Place To Stick My Finger?
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? – Tastes funny!
IF ONLY – I could exchange my heart for another liver That way I could drink more and care less.
EVEN HE KNOWS! – Have you seen the price of gas these days? … It’s a doggone shame! …
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES – IT’S BRAD AND ANGELINA!!
The Waiting Game – Let’s see who dies first…