WHEN I AM BORED – I send a text to a random number saying, ” I hid the body … Now what ? “
DUCK FACE – Who’s really looking anyway?
Fruits – Mostly good, but the bad ones are terrible.
BEHAVE – We upgraded from rulers.
BETTY WHITE – Laughs at the thought of Chuck Norris.
COINCIDENCE OR CONSPIRACY – License and registration sir. Do you have any idea of why I pulled you over today ?
Navy Seals – Dana Perrino (Fox News) in an interview with a NAVY SEAL discussing all the countries he had been sent to: “Did you
Reincarnation – Yeah, that seems more plausible.
YES, I ACCEPT YOUR OFFERING! Hurry Up And Toss The Tasty Morsel Into My Lair
IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK… – And the correct answers are: Spine, Lither, Ginger, and Subtext What were you thinking??
PROOF THAT SATAN IS A GINGER – Need I say it more clearly?
First – Senior moment
EVERYDAY NINJAS – “Let’s get that appendix out.”
Vulcan mind meld – You’re doing it right.
Strong And Black – It’s how this captain takes his coffee.
Well… That’s the circle of life bro.
Jersy Shore – How it began.
Marking Your Territory – More women need to do it.
Statutory Rape – Or just a moose demeanor?
Because When You Gotta Go – Nothing else matters.
I ONLY HAVE ONE NERVE – And you’re getting on it.
Alcohol – Is Not The Answer… Wait… What was the damn question?
CONTRACEPTION – Does ugly count? It is decidedly so.
THE TRUTH HURTS – No one checks the supply… Until it’s too late.
NO THANKS – I’ve just lost my appetite!!
REALISTIC TATTOOS – Though appealing, be prepared to get ran from or slapped in the neck a lot.