MY HIDING PLACE – When things get too much, You need a place like this.
Internet Forever – Once you post it … That s**t stays there forever.
YOU DO REALIZE – That this means war.
NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL – An Unfair Advantage!
The Good Husband – See honey, I’ve left the toilet seat down just for you.
Don’t Be Concerned – It’s just Canadians.
No One’s Taller – Then the last man standing.
My Father No Matter What He Did – I will always come back to his grave.
English Literature – I’m sure my college professor said we were studying irony. But my husband said no, it was ironing.
Insignificant – I may not seem like much to the outside observer, but to people who know me well I seem like even less.
The Only Thing Worse – Than a captain who never flew as a co-pilot, Is a co-pilot who once was a captain.
Approval Caring Whether Others Approve Of You – Is just as smart as waiting to see whether the train can stop in time.
Concrete In January – Go ahead. You sit on it with a straight face.
Alien Abduction In Progress
ALCOHOL – Drink until she’s cute, stop before the wedding.
COURAGE – Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. -Ambrose Redmoon-
TEAMWORK – If you’re not the leader The view never changes.
Nestea – Like Coke, but with more cleavage.
DEPRESSED OWL SAYS – WHOOOOOOOOOOO Gives a s**t.
RELIGION – God made me an atheist. Who are you to question his wisdom?
KIDS ARE LIKE FARTS – Your own are okay, but other peoples stink …
Forever – It’s how long you’ll have a crying indian boy on your arm.
Ninja – What!? Where?
OH MY GOSH – Those plants really need to be watered!
Yes Son – Those are definitely the droids we’re looking for.
Dress Code – Sorry ladies, those tops don’t match your bottoms. I’m afraid you’ll have to take them off.