Tombstone Moments – Sometimes begin with a whisper.
Think Outside The Box – So I can finish my nap.
That Awkward Moment – When you don’t know whether to say sir, or ma’am.
Your Search – Winning an argument wit your wife had 0 matches.
M.I.T. – Has made a camera that can take a million frames per second. Finally, a photo of a woman with her mouth shut.
No Meat, No Spoon – Sorry.
Compensating – Thank God! I thought everyone with a winkie the size of mine had to lift this thing.
Communication – When barbed words aren’t enough, there’s always body language.
Cultural Assimilation – It takes time.
Trump – The formative years.
Watch Dogs – Like regular dogs only creepier.
Go On Without Me – But leave…(cough)…the cookies…
Interpretation Redirected – Cat-a-tonic. A visual elixir for the cure of bigotry.
Destiny – No matter which cards you have been dealt in the end the pussy gets the money.
Alcohol – If it’s not the answer, change the question.
Infaceon – Bike racing term for checking tire pressure with your face.
Global Warming – Yeah, it’s gonna be that drastic.
Sing – Like No One Is Listening.
Fun Facts – You didn’t know this man had a daughter until you dated her and broke her heart.
T S A – Working for you.
Opportunities – If you’re afraid of being slapped, you will get nothing from life.
Rocky Horror Picture Show – Still a better love story than Twilight.
Hands Up Kitty – The fur or your life !
Therapy Helps – But screaming obscenities is faster, cheaper and more satisfying …
Quality Control – Tells you how it is.
Good Sermon – Should be like a woman’s skirt; Short enough to rouse interest… Long enough to cover the essentials.