YOU ARE NOT FAT - You're just a little short for your weight ...
SILENCE IS GOLDEN - This better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and
SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL, SPEAK NO EVIL - Censorship, like charity, should begin at home;
JUNK IN THE TRUNK - Looks more like an episode of Hoarders to me ...
WHEN I AM BORED - I send a text to a random number saying, " I hid the body ... Now what
DUCK FACE - Who's really looking anyway?
Fruits - Mostly good, but the bad ones are terrible.
BEHAVE - We upgraded from rulers.
WAKING UP - Sometimes I go back to sleep hoping for a nice dream so I wake back up in a
BETTY WHITE - Laughs at the thought of Chuck Norris.
COINCIDENCE OR CONSPIRACY - License and registration sir. Do you have any idea of why I
Navy Seals - Dana Perrino (Fox News) in an interview with a NAVY SEAL discussing all the
Reincarnation - Yeah, that seems more plausible.
YES, I ACCEPT YOUR OFFERING! Hurry Up And Toss The Tasty Morsel Into My Lair
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK... - And the correct answers are: Spine, Lither, Ginger, and
PROOF THAT SATAN IS A GINGER - Need I say it more clearly?
First - Senior moment
EVERYDAY NINJAS - "Let's get that appendix out."
MISSED YOUR LATTE TODAY? - These folks didn't have a house. Get over yourself.
Your Best Friend - Maybe one day you'll forget him, but he'll never forget you.